Have you ever wanted to have sex with somebody…with no strings attached? Was that person Ashton Kutcher or Natalie Portman? How about Kevin Kline, Lake Bell, Mindy Kaling, or Ludacris? …cause they’re all in this movie for some reason. No Strings Attached is yet another romantic comedy that tries its hardest to be current, modern, and hip. You can tell the movie was written by a female and girls are going to fall in love with it by continuously quoting it with their girlfriends. Guys are going to like it too because they can relate the characters to crazy bitches they’ve had to deal with in relationships. Come to think of it, there wasn’t much cursing in this movie but it is rated R for a reason…you get to see butt!
No Strings Attached is about the anti-relationship of Emma and Adam…two longtime friends who keep running into each other. She’s a brainy doctor-to-be who isn’t good with feelings or communicating while he’s a perfect hopeless romantic who probably could’ve had any girl in the movie. They hook up but decide to just be friends…that have sex with each other whenever they want it. You already know Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher are beautiful people and they don’t disappoint in this film. They are raunchy, rambunctious, and have sex in almost every position possible…including a finger up the ass. That’s in now, right? [PUN!]
I wish I got a balloon for every time I did a good job at sex
You’re definitely going to laugh but the question is how long. The movie throws comedic punches and they hit for some but miss for others. However, it never really builds hilarious moments or scenes so there are a couple laughs here and there but most of the movie drags with relationship crap…just like a real relationship! This movie also has a lot of interesting music choices. For one, Adam works for a Glee-like show so you get some corny teenage high school musical numbers. There’s also a Mariachi band playing the Pussycat Doll’s Don’t Cha (wish your girlfriend was hot like me), a coffee-shop acoustic country-like version of Jay-Z’s 99 problems, and a period mix. The movie tries to set up little funny “happenings” and running gags in the background but they seem forced and irrelevant.
i keep bleeding, keep, keep, bleeding love
Talking about irrelevant, most of the cameos in this movie don’t make sense. Ludacris did not belong in the movie and it was just weird to watch him. I figure he’s trying to show range so in this movie he plays a guy who doesn’t belong in the damn movie. He looks two generations older than everybody else and he shows no expression…even when he keeps saying to look at his face. Kevin Kline is fun as Ashton’s Tunnel Buddy aka Dad but everyone else like Mindy Kaling just doesn’t fit. They’re the minorities and they threw in a couple gay guys, dumb whores, snobbish “other guys”, and other stereotypical characters you would imagine would be throw into the mix.
Adam and his friends trying to figure out what to text
The movie runs long. Very long. It’s as if you could have had a real relationship, broken up, and have gotten back together during the span of the movie. I can already tell that this is going to get a lot of social buzz from young girls. Leaving my screening I could hear, “Oh my God! It was sooooooooo good,” and “I loved it…I told [any girl's name would fit here] during the movie that I can’t wait to watch it again!” With this generation, the movie will do great and fill their attention span just long enough to forget the movie before Friends With Benefits with Natalie Portman’s Black Swan co-star, Mila Kunis, comes out. Yes, same concept. I’m hoping that one is better.
Tags: Ashton Kutcher, Ivan Reitman, Kevin Kline, Lake Bell, Ludacris, Mindy Kaling, Natalie Portman, No Strings Attached
Matthew Fong created advancescreenings.com and is the lead contributor. He watches every type of movie and will try almost anything twice. You can follow him on twitter here: @matthewfong
