Meet Monica Velour felt like the neglected love child of Napoleon Dynamite, The Graduate and The Girl Next Door. Those were all great movies, this one…not so much. It follows a young dork obsessed with an old porn star whose flame has long burnt out. It’s an indie film and wants to make sure you know it. It wasn’t too bad but I’d only recommend it to people who typically seek out the obscure laugh. It is a comedy but not exactly a black comedy…more like an awkward comedy. It’s as quirky as its main character and embodies that notion from the writing to the soundtrack to the acting. Meet Monica Velour has its moments, but just like Monica Velour, herself, it will be easily forgotten.
The movie follows Tobe (Dustin Ingram), an awkward skinny dork with no direction in life who is just finishing high school. He’s raised by his grandpa (Brian Dennehy) who is a hilarious cranky old man and doesn’t really have any other human interaction except for his neighbor’s young kid Kenny (Daniel Yelsky) and an asian girl (Jee Young Han) who he’s weirdly attracted to and scared of at the same time. He’s into old time records, old time clothing and old time porn. The conversations between him and his pop pops are the greatest dialogue in the movie. As a graduation present, Tobe gets the family business: a Weenie Wiz hot dog truck. Tobe lets his grandad know that “nobody wants Donkey Dogs,” and pops tells him to sell “Broccoli Burgers or Gaysciles.” Gaysciles…brilliant! Anyway, Tobe decides to sell it but the only interested buyer is in Indiana.
Meet Dustin Ingram and Kim Cattrall
Monica Valour had an amazing career in porno starring in classic and legendary blue movies. The funniest parts of the film came from the faux porns. One was a sex remake of Star Wars based in a erotic galaxy far far away. It had Hand Solo, Princess Layme, Doug Fudgepacker and the storm troopers were penises. She even won “Breast” Actress for her role in Frankenbooty which was shot in 3D. Sadly, they didn’t give us 3D glasses to enjoy the ending of the film as Tobe did. Those were a high 15 years of her life but now she’s about to enter her low 50s. She’s in the middle of a custody battle for her little girl and she can’t even get a low paying job without someone shoving their junk in her face. She starts headlining at a strip club in Indiana. Looks like Tobe is going to Indiana.
The movie turns into a road trip and these two paths cross as the movie turns into the coming of age story of a boy with no mother being obsessed with a lady that could be his mother. He doesn’t care where his life is going, he just wants to be with this lady who he doesn’t even to refer to by her real name, Linda Romanoli (Kim Cattrall). He’s afraid things won’t be like the movies he’s obsessed with and can’t understand anything otherwise. She, on the other hand, has real problems she has to worry about and uses Tobe as much as she can until he crosses the line. They have something that you could call a relationship but it’s more of a “what the hell are you doing, kid?”
Linda Romanoli (Kim Cattrall) and Tobe (Dustin Ingram) in Meet Monica Velour
Halfway through, I was done with this movie…I just wanted it to end. The interesting story that could have been never came to be and the obvious boring story took over. The acting was flat, the music was not for me and there’s no real lesson learned out of it all. Just a story someone wanted to tell. The supporting cast really held up the film including performances by Brian Dennehy, Keith David and Tony Cox. I am grateful for this lil bit: “Luck only postpones our inevitable failures.” I love lines like that so in the end, I’m glad I saw the movie…just wish I didn’t have to sit through 90 minutes to hear it.
I wasn’t expecting much when I went into the screening of Lottery Ticket and I definitely did not expect to see what I saw. Lottery Ticket is not a family film…it’s a lot more vulgar, sexy, and serious than it seems. It’s a decent movie that’s entertaining at times but doesn’t add much to the cinematic world except more fire on the stereotypes. The ensemble cast is comprised of your usual suspects in an “urban” movie but still great including Loretta Devine, Keith David, Terry Crews, and comedians Mike Epps, Charley Murphy, and Bill Bellamy.
With such an amazing cast including some of today’s best comedians, how could this comedy turn out so shitty? (pun intended) Death at a Funeral goes for the quirky everything that can go wrong does go wrong feel but ends up with a plain old movie that’s as stiff as the body in the casket they’re having the funeral for. Chris Rock, playing Aaron, has been living with and supporting his father, mother (Loretta Devine), and wife (Regina Hall) who is trying to get pregnant. Martin Lawrence is Aaron ‘s younger and much more successful brother Ryan who everyone adores…except, of course, Aaron. Joined by the rest of his family, Aaron tries to hold a service for his late father but one thing leads to another and you’re supposed to laugh.
