If you’re ever in Thailand, go see a movie…their theaters are very luxurious even on Hollywood standards. At the beginning of each film they play a little montage in honor of their ruling King where you must stand…it’s quite a different experience but very cool. Most of the movies they show are quite recent coming out at or around the same time as the US release dates and sometimes even before! Walking around Bangkok I noticed that they were promoting Piranha 3D a lot so I knew I had to check it out…
As I expected, it was hilariously bad but still a great time! If Avatar was a step forward for 3D, this was 2 giant steps back. I remember hearing about this film and seeing the trailer thinking it was a joking jab at James Cameron since he directed Piranha 2 back in the day and his huge 3D spectacular (Avatar) was about to come out. Well, it wasn’t a joke…it’s real and it’s really ridiculous. It seems that a bunch of guys in Hollywood got their hands on a 3D camera and wanted to see what they could get away with. Beautiful Girls? Check. Bad Script? Check. Bad Acting? Check. Gore? Check. Boobies? Double Check. That’s pretty much the formula for Piranha 3D.
Worst. Sacrifice. Ever.
Spring Break has arrived on Lake Victoria but not after a small earthquake which unveils an undercover lake that’s located directly under the existing lake unleashing a plethora of man-eating prehistoric super piranha. The story follows the family of the local sheriff who must keep the crazy teenage spring breakers at bay while dealing with this new fish problem. At the same time, her son becomes the local help of a Joe Francis-type character making a Girls Gone Wild-type video. If that weren’t enough, Christopher Lloyd is the local scientist/fish expert? Gadzooks! This movie has everything you’d expect from a B-movie and more. Too much more at times.
The movie holds nothing back and it’s sure to let you know how awful it is by making fun of itself. Expect to see every body part imaginable and then every body part imaginable being eaten by piranhas! Expect the characters to make stupid decisions and pay dearly for it. I, however, did not expect an artistic mermaid-esque underwater dance sequence as well as more shocking gore than a zombie movie. The cast had fun with this one. It’s comprised of Jerry O’Connell, Christopher Lloyd, Eli Roth, Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, and even Richard Dreyfuss who are all respectable actors. But in this film they cut loose and have fun with ridiculous over the top acting.
Oh Jerry...
From what you’ve read so far and knowing what movie we’re talking about…you know the 3D is full of gimmicks. Piranhas flying at you, things popping out of nowhere, etc. The 3D really doesn’t add anything to the movie but instead probably gets a lot of awards for being the first movie to do “X” in 3D. You can fill in “X” with any stupid cheesy thing you can think of. Should you pay more for the 3D? Nope. Will you? Yup. That’s the beauty of this movie…you know it’s going to be ridiculously bad and awesome. All I’ve got to say is that I wish I was on set for this movie because it looks like it was a blast to make. It’s the best B film I’ve seen in a while and I had fun watching it. Oh, by the way, the sequel is already being developed! Piranha 4D!? I hope it picks up right where it left off!
